Find a way to help her Marius
by BrandonMichelle
Summary: Jean Valjean dies and Cosette is left devastated. Marius feels helpless as he can't find a way of helping her through the grief and he's desperate to be able to reach her again. Can Cosette go from being someones daughter to being someones wife? Or will it be too much for her? Both musical and novel based. Rated M in Chapter 5. Reviews are nice to see.
1. Loss

**Find a way to help her Marius**

It had been a day full of the most extreme happiness and extreme sadness, Marius and Cosette had been married and were celebrating that fact when they found out that Cosettes father was dying. They had managed to get to him in time for Cosette to say goodbye to him and for Marius to make his peace with him, but then their entire world was changed forever, Jean Valjean died.

Cosette took it the hardest, obviously. She felt like a light had gone out from inside of her and she felt so lost all of a sudden. She had never let it cross her mind that her father would be gone one day, he was her hero, the man who rescued her from abuse and raised her with such love, _how could a man like that ever be gone from the world_ she thought.

But he _was_ gone, and now Cosette was devastated. The first moments after Valjean had passed were terrible ones, Cosette was crying so hard she could barely breathe and Marius had to practically pry her hands off her fathers so the doctor who was there could have the body taken away. She screamed when they tried to move him, she had tried to stop them but Marius held her back while the doctor and the porter took him out of the room.

"Let me go!" she shouted "I have to stop them Marius".

Marius didn't know what to do; he had never seen her like this. He needed to make her see reason though so he decided to be firm with her.

"Cosette NO! STOP IT!" he said to her as she tried to get away from him, He grabbed her shoulders and made her look at him, he put his hands on her face so he could look her in the eyes and then spoke to her softly to try to make her understand "I'm sorry, he's gone. He's really gone Cosette".  
As he said that he could have sworn that Cosettes eyes that were usually so bright had gone dull.

Cosette looked at him and she did understand. She nodded and he relaxed his hands and let her go.

"Let's go home Cosette" He said softly to her "We'll go home and you can rest, it'll be alright I promise".

Cosette just nodded again and took his hand, he led her outside into the early evening air and when the cold wind hit Cosette she suddenly turned away and threw up onto the pavement, everything had just hit her like she had been punched in the stomach and that was the only reaction her body could come up with.

* * *

When they finally got home Marius helped Cosette to their bedroom, the one that had been arranged specifically for their wedding night activities, neither of them were thinking about that right now though, Cosette wasn't able to think about anything in fact, she was too distraught. All Marius was thinking about was how he could make Cosette feel better, it was breaking his heart to see her like this.

Cosette was crying softly at the moment as Marius led her into their room, it wasn't very late yet but he thought that the best thing for Cosette now would be to let her sleep, it would give her a break from the pain she was feeling.

Marius held her hand as he led her inside, he sat her down on the edge of their bed and took her hands from his, he found a nightgown which had been brought over earlier with some other things of hers in preparation, and brought it over to her.

"I can help you get undressed if you need me too" he told her quietly.

Cosette was half listening to him and half still blank inside from the grief she was feeling but she suddenly remembered it was her wedding night and she remembered what she would be expected to do tonight, she didn't know what Marius would still want from her, would he force her to do it?

She was suddenly terrified and broke down into loud sobs.

Cosette? Marius asked with concern, he tried to touch her hair gently but she moved away from him, only slightly but enough so that he noticed.

Cosette buried her face in her hands and cried even more

What is it? Asked Marius, still concerned, _why is she so afraid of _me? He thought.

Cosette managed to gain a little composure and was able to say quietly to him "It's our wedding night", it came out more of a whimper than an actual sentence, she was so confused and scared and upset that she didn't know what else to say.

Marius then understood what she was afraid of.

He knelt down in front of her and took her hands in his, Cosette was looking down at the floor like it was too much for her too actually look at him

"Cosette, look at me" Marius said gently

Cosette did look at him; it was hard for her though as she was so full of tears that her vision was blurred.

"I know what tonight is, but it doesn't matter. We don't have to do anything; I'm not going to make you do anything you don't want to do Cosette. Is that what you're afraid of? Did you think I would force you?"

Cosette nodded her head, slightly ashamed of herself for thinking the worst of him.

"All I want right now is for you to feel better", Marius said to her

"I'm sorry" Cosette said in a whisper

"You don't have anything to be sorry about Cosette", Marius said. Then he put one of his hands on her face and looked into her eyes, he was being so gentle with her that it made Cosette realise he really wouldn't make her do anything tonight.

"I love you Marius" Cosette said

"I love you too Cosette" Marius replied, and then he leaned in to kiss her. He kissed her gently on the forehead, and then on the lips. It was a beautiful soft kiss, a kiss that was to show her how much he cared for her, a kiss to comfort her, a kiss to let her know he was there to look after her, and that truly was all he wanted right then, because at that moment Cosette wasnt able to be anyone's wife, and she certainly didn't look like anyones wife, right now she looked like a scared little girl who had just lost her father.

Marius knew in his heart that it wouldn't have been fair and it certainly wouldn't have been right to make her do anything tonight.

"I want you to sleep now, it'll help you feel better" Marius said to her whilst standing up again.

Cosette nodded and tried to make a start undressing, but her hands were still shaking from crying so much that she couldn't even manage to get the pins out of her hair.

"Let me help you" Marius said to her softly

Cosette looked at him for a few seconds and nodded again, she knew he just wanted to help her, nothing more.

After a short time he had helped her get her wedding dress off and she was in her nightdress, Marius didn't know what to do with the gown so he just folded it and put it on a chair for now. He noticed Cosette was letting her hair out of the elaborate style it had been put in for the wedding, and it was now flowing down to her shoulders.

Marius couldn't help but think how lovely she looked with her hair let down, but he put any thoughts like that quickly out of his mind. He then took off his own jacket which he had forgotten he was still wearing but he didn't know what to do next, should he get undressed too? Should he sleep in the same bed with her tonight? What was the right thing to do?

Cosette must have felt what he was feeling right then; she sat down on the bed again and looked at him.

"Marius…will you lie down with me? Will you just hold me tonight?" She asked him.

"Of course" Marius replied softly.

Marius didn't get fully undressed that night, except for his shoes, he just went over to the bed and lay down with his wife**, **Marius caught a glimpse of her eyes again, she looked so lost at that moment and he had no idea how he was going to find her again.  
There was nothing more he could do right now though so he lay on his side and put his arms around her as she buried her head into his chest. He held her gently and kissed her on the forehead, Cosette cried again softly during that night until she was too exhausted to cry anymore and fell asleep. Marius looked at her poor tear-stained face when she had fallen asleep and whispered to her "I'm so sorry Cosette". He was feeling guilty for being partly responsible for her father's death and he didnt know if he could ever make it right again.  
Before he drifted off too he felt such sorrow for Cosette, he was the only person she had left in the world now and he felt terrible about that, but he also found it wonderful just being able to hold his wife in his arms on his wedding night. He didn't need anything more right now, he didn't need to make love to her to know that he loved her; right now he felt that this was the purest act of love that he could show her.


	2. Grief

"I can't do it Marius, I can't bury him" Cosette said quietly the day of her fathers funeral.

It had been three days since Cosettes father had died and Cosette still hadn't come to terms with it, Marius had hoped she would be feeling better by now but he had been perhaps a little too naïve in thinking that.  
They still hadn't consummated the marriage; they hadn't even shared the same bed since their wedding night in fact. Cosette was still too heartbroken to be with Marius yet and he, even though he loved her deeply, had told her that he understood and would wait until she was ready. He would have been lying if he had told himself that he didn't want Cosette that way, because he knew he did, but he knew it wouldn't be right for her to give herself to him when she was feeling the way she was right now, and there was no way he was ever going to force anything on her, so he waited.  
He wanted to be a gentleman, so he let her have the master bedroom to herself while he slept in the spare room, except for the previous night when he wound up falling asleep in his study when he had stayed up late hoping for a way to make things better again.

The truth is though that he missed her. They had been married for less than a week and Marius felt like she was slipping away from him; it was like a light had gone out from his world when Cosette wasn't with him. Cosette had become so distant since her father died and Marius had no idea what to do about any of this, he wanted to reach out to her to comfort her but he also wanted to give her space to grieve on her own, he felt like he was torn apart inside.

Marius had taken care of all the funeral arrangements himself since Cosette had been so overcome with grief that she could barely speak; it was like it was too hard for her to even form words sometimes, most of the time lately she had taken to just staring into the distance, or she would just lie on her bed crying. She had barely eaten over the past three days either and had only joined the whole family once for dinner so far, the previous evening Marius had convinced her that it would do her good to be with the family so she relented, but she still spent the entire time in silence.

And now today was the funeral, and Marius knew it was going to be hard for her all over again.

"It'll be alright Cosette, I'll be right beside you the whole time" Marius told her softly.

"Please Marius, don't make me do this" Cosette said, backing away from him as he tried to comfort her

"Cosette, we have to go". He told her, "You have to say goodbye to him, you know you do. You'll regret it forever if you don't".

Cosette looked at Marius, despite the grief she was feeling she knew she still loved Marius with all her heart and she knew that he only wanted to help her.

She nodded, which she had taken to doing a lot lately instead of actually answering someone, Marius knew it meant that she was ready to go so he took her hand.

When they reached the front door Cosette stopped to take a deep breath before they left, and Marius went to kiss her on the lips, but she turned her face from him, so he just kissed her tenderly on the cheek instead. He looked sadly into her eyes, which looked sad in return.

"It's alright Cosette" he whispered to her dejectedly.

* * *

The funeral went by in a haze for Cosette, she couldn't focus on anything at all, she knew there was a priest there, she knew he was saying words, but she couldn't hear what the words were, all she knew was that her father was in the coffin that was in front of her, and it made her feel sick inside.

_He shouldn't be in there, _she thought,_ he should be here. Why did he have to leave me? I still need him._

Cosette heard more words and more prayers, her ears weren't hearing anything that was being said and her eyes weren't seeing anything that was being done, she knew she was still holding Marius's hand though, that gave her some comfort at least.

She couldn't bear this feeling inside her anymore, this hollowness, this sick feeling of having someone you love torn away from you, she couldn't bear the fact that she couldn't find the words to tell Marius what she was feeling, he was such a good man and he had been so good to her this past week in regards to taking care of her and her fathers wishes. She wanted to reach out to him and tell him things but she couldn't and she didn't know how she'd ever be able to again.

And then her fathers coffin was lowered into the ground, and her eyes saw that just fine. She began crying again and Marius let her lean on him for support, she felt his hand stroke her arm and him whispering something to her but she didn't hear what he was saying. And after that she didn't see or hear anything at all, because as they turned to walk away from the gravesite it all became too much for her, and she passed out.

* * *

When she came to, she was back in her bedroom again. Marius had gotten her home and a doctor had been summoned, she could hear men talking as she awoke slowly.

"Everyone be quiet, she's waking up" Said Marius forcefully, he went over to his wife and stroked her face gently with the backs of his fingers, he pushed the hair that had fallen in front of her eyes out of the way and tucked it behind her ears.

Cosette opened her eyes slowly, she was groggy and her eyes weren't focusing properly yet though, but she heard someone say her name.

"Cosette?" said Marius, trying to bring her out of her slumber

"Marius?" she replied weakly "What happened?"

"I think you fainted, but don't worry about that now, just rest" Marius said to her

"Where's Papa?" She said, still half asleep

Marius didn't know what to say to that, he didn't want to break her heart again but didn't want to lie to her either.

"Marius…wh…" Then she came around properly and remembered what had happened that past week, she remembered that her father wasn't there and never would be again. "Oh...right" she simply said.

Then she looked past Marius and saw his Grandfather and a rather stern looking man in the room with them

"What's going on?" She said shyly, suddenly feeling very uncomfortable with the fact that there was a strange man in her bedroom

"I asked someone to fetch a doctor for you Cosette, we were all worried about you, will you let him take a look at you?" Marius said.

Cosette didn't say anything, she just put a hand over her eyes and began crying softly again

"Cosette, please". Marius said softly. "I want to make sure you're alright, I'll stay with you if you want me too".

Cosette wiped her eyes and nodded, not looking at anyone or anything.

Grandfather left the room and the doctor began his examination of Cosette while Marius kept hold of one of her hands, she wasn't hurt by the fall it appeared and the doctor asked her a series of questions which she tried to answer but like the funeral earlier that day everything seemed to go by in a blur.

When he had finished the doctor asked Marius if he could speak to him alone for a moment

Marius nodded and turned back to his wife for a second, "I'll be right back Cosette" he said, "Try to rest now". Then he kissed her hand, to which she didn't respond to and she turned her head away from him.

The Doctor and Marius stepped out into the hallway where the doctor informed him that there wasn't anything physically wrong with his wife and that it was most likely just severe grief. He told him that Cosette should just rest and for Marius to make sure she eats properly, but that emotional problems weren't his specialty.  
He then gave Marius an inane speech about women being "all emotions and no reason" which made Marius angry and he then ordered the doctor to leave his house at once.

When Marius had calmed down again he went back into the bedroom, Cosette was looking towards the wall with the same blank look on her face as before.

Marius touched her face again and began stroking her hair; but she didn't move at all or even react to this gesture.

"How are you feeling?" asked Marius lovingly

"Will it ever stop hurting?" said Cosette, not looking at him

"It will Cosette, I promise it will, but it takes time" replied Marius

"I can't stand it anymore Marius; I can't stand feeling like this." Cosette said quietly

"I know" said Marius sympathetically

"I'm just so tired of crying" said Cosette, turning her head to face him again

Marius looked into her eyes, he was trying to find the light that used to be in there, the one he was desperate to see again, she had the most beautiful eyes but right now they were so red and swollen he could barely see anything in them anymore.

"Is there anything I can do to help?" Marius asked

Cosette just looked at him for a moment; she looked like she was desperate to say something to him but she couldn't find the words.

"Please Cosette, I love you. Let me help you" said Marius passionately

But Cosette just broke down into tears again and turned away from him, leaving Marius feeling so alone and heartbroken.


	3. Healing

Cosette awoke with a start, it was morning again and she felt like she had been sleeping for a week, she rubbed her eyes with her hand and turned her head to one side and saw Marius sitting in an armchair by the bed, he looked concerned and detached at the same time.

Cosette was still sleepy and she wasn't sure what he was doing there but for some reason she felt comforted by the fact that he was there.

She didn't know what to say to him, so she just gave an automatic greeting

"Hello" She said quietly

"Hello" Marius replied, with a tad more effort than she had mustered

Then he added "How are you feeling?" sounding hopeful

Cosette didn't respond with words, she just looked downwards and shook her head. Then she looked up at him again.

"Have you been there all night?" she said, still rubbing sleep from her eyes

He had indeed been there all night, he had been worried about her since her fainting spell the previous day and had wanted to stay by her side while she was recuperating, he also thought that maybe if she could see that he truly wanted to be there for her she might open up to him and they could finally start healing properly.

But as Cosette was waking herself up that morning he realised he still hadn't reached her

"Yes" He replied, "I wanted to make sure you slept alright"

Cosette looked into his sorrowful eyes for a moment, she felt grateful that he did that for her but at the same time she felt the same emptiness and sadness that had been overtaking her all week.

"You didn't have to do that" she simply said, not looking at him as she sat up on the bed.

"I wanted to" Marius replied

Cosette looked at him for a moment, not really sure of what to say to him. So Marius just spoke instead

"Well…. I'll um….. I'll let you get dressed then" He got up to leave but then stopped and turned to her again. "Will you come down for breakfast?" Marius asked

Cosette just nodded and looked down at her hands

Marius decided to be brave and went to kiss her, and she let him. Well, that is to say she didn't back away when he gave her a gentle peck on the cheek; it was a stiff and emotionless act, but it was the best he could do at that moment.

He then went to leave the room

"Wait…..Marius?" Cosette said suddenly

"Yes?" he asked hopefully, her face again told him that there was something she wanted desperately to say to him, but she couldn't find the words.

"Um…..I…" She stammered

Marius waited, but her face went blank again and he knew they still hadn't made any progress

"You need a shave" she said instead, and got out of bed and headed towards the bathroom.

* * *

Cosette did join the rest of the household for breakfast that morning, she washed her face and tidied her hair and went downstairs just to be polite. Everyone said hello to her as she entered the room, Grandfather in particular made a huge fuss over her, for he had grown very fond of Cosette over the past few months and he had been very concerned about her since yesterday. He said how lovely it was to see her up and about again and that she was looking a lot better today_. _Cosette just smiled at the old man politely and ate with the family.

And thus the day progressed exactly like that, everyone was polite, everyone was nice and Cosette tried her best to adjust to the world again, but she still felt disconnected from everything and everyone. Whenever Marius was around she couldn't talk to him and sometimes she would look away from him if he tried to come near her. She wanted so desperately to feel things again, she wanted to be able to talk to Marius like they used to before they were married, most of all she just wanted to feel like herself again, she felt so lost inside.

Early that evening Cosette was in the living room sitting on the floor with her knees against her chest absentmindedly looking at the fire when Marius walked in, she didn't turn around to look at him but she knew it was him when he entered.

He didn't say anything to her; he just sat on a chair next to her and watched her. All he wanted was to be close to her, and he thought maybe she might open up to him tonight, she had been looking better today after all so he thought that she might at last want to reach out to him. He was so desperate to help her that he would have tried anything at this point.

And then she spoke, she didn't look up at Marius or even at anything; it was like it just came out of her by accident.

"I wish I could see him again" she said sadly

Marius thought this was it, that maybe she would finally open up to him.

"Cosette?" He said, trying to bring her out of the void she had been lost in

Then Cossette realised she had spoken and she looked up at Marius, she almost managed to gather up the courage to talk to him but at the last moment she sank back into herself again.

"Cosette is there something you want to say?" Marius asked, trying one last time to reach her

"I…..um…..I'm tired Marius, I think I'm going to go to bed" she just said instead and stood up to leave the room

Marius sighed and nodded his head and watched her about to leave the room

"Cosette wait!" he suddenly yelled, he stood up to follow her

Cosette stopped and turned to him again, but she looked down at the floor instead of looking at him, he went up to her and pressed her gently against the wall.

"Please Cosette, talk to me" he said taking her hand in his, "I miss you, I need you to talk to me, I can tell there's something you want to say". Marius then put a hand softly on Cosettes face and made her look him in the eye. "I know you miss your father, and I know you're in pain but please let me in Cosette". He moved his face closer to hers, almost touching her lips with his, and he whispered once more "Please".

Cosette didnt resist him; she almost let him kiss her, almost. Their lips were so close it was like they were cruelly teasing each other.

"I'm trying Marius" she said "but I just can't yet, I'm sorry". Then she broke away from him and walked out of the room.

And Marius just stood there and watched her leave

"Dammit" he said to himself.

* * *

Cosette was headed to the bedroom when she ran into Marius's grandfather; she smiled at him politely again as she went to pass him.

"Are you off to bed my dear?" He asked her cheerfully.

"Yes", she said quietly, "Goodnight Grandfather".

"Where's Marius, will he be joining you?" He said with a smile on his face

"He's downstairs", she said and added nothing more to that.

"Oh…I see" He said sadly.

Cosette didn't know what to say to that, he could be a very crude old man when he wanted to be and right now she just wanted to get inside her room.

"Well, um…..Goodnight then". She said, hoping that he wouldn't add anything more to this conversation.

Then the old man broke the tension, he took one of her hands in his and brought it to his lips and kissed it gently.

"Goodnight my dear sweet girl" he said, and then he walked away. Cosette could have sworn she had seen a tear in his eye as she walked passed him; _he could be such a strange old man sometimes_ Cosette thought to herself.

* * *

Marius was sat in an armchair again, his head was resting in one of his hands and he was lost in his own little world**, **he was so desperately lonely without his Cosette. He was so deep in thought that he didn't notice that his Grandfather was standing behind him

"Ahem!" Grandfather said loudly

Marius jumped slightly in his seat as he turned around to see his grandfather in the room.

"What the hell are you doing?!" He exclaimed, "You scared me half to death!"

"Don't swear" Grandfather said sternly

"What do you want?" Marius replied, slightly annoyed at being disturbed by the old man.

"How long are you going to let this go on my boy?" he said

"What are you talking about?" Marius replied, getting even more annoyed by him

"I'm talking about your wife, we all know she hasn't given herself to you yet" The old man said.

Marius rolled his eyes at that sentence

"Oh for the love of…" he didn't finish that sentiment. "That's none of your business" He said. "And I don't want to talk about it with you".

"It is my business when I can see you're both unhappy". The old man said, "I may be old but I'm not completely senile yet, why don't you go and be with her?"

"Grandfather stop, please". Marius said, turning away from him again. "She's grieving, I can't make her do something she doesn't feel able to do right now, and I can't make her feel better by magic can I? She's just lost her father; he was the only family she had".

"Then why aren't you working on making a new family with her?" Grandfather said, standing his ground.

Marius had heard enough from him, he stood up and faced his grandfather

"What do you want me to do?" He said with a raised voice, "Force myself on her? I won't hurt her any more than she's already been hurt; she's _my_ wife not yours and she's not ready for that yet, I'll wait forever for her if I have too. I'm not like you Grandfather I don't just use women for pleasure". Marius said with a slight bitterness in his voice".

"Alright fine", Grandfather replied, "I'm sorry Marius, I don't want to fight with you son".

The elderly man went over to Marius and put one of his unsteady hands on the young mans shoulder.

"She's a lovely young lady; it'd be a shame to let that go to waste don't you think? He said, trying to convince him one last time.

"Grandfather, she's so lost right now, I can't…" Marius said sadly, looking down at the floor.

"Let me finish son, I won't be around forever so at least let me finish speaking" Grandfather replied, then he moved a little closer to his grandson and put a hand on his cheek.

"Find a way to help her Marius; You'll both be better for it when you do." He said softly to his grandson.

Then he simply patted his grandson on the shoulder and went to leave the room, he added one last thing before he closed the door behind him. "By the way, you need a shave".

Marius sat down again, feeling even more clueless as to any way to help Cosette.

Marius looked down at his hands and noticed his wedding ring; he ran his fingers over it as he thought about what it meant to him to be wearing it. He had fought so hard last summer to get to where he is now, he had lost all his friends and nearly his life so he could be with the girl he loved and now he couldn't even reach her. He couldn't bear knowing that he might lose Cosette as well.

His eyes started to well up at that thought

He placed his head in one of his hands and he started thinking about something else as well, he thought about when his own father died, he had barely known the man and had never had the chance to talk to him properly in his whole life, and after his death he still wasn't allowed to mention his name in the house.

Marius was overcome with sadness at that very moment and for the first time that week he allowed himself to shed just a few tears, and then he looked up at the ceiling. His and Cosettes bedroom was just above this room he supposed, and she was up there too, sad and alone, he knew that for sure.

Then suddenly he got an idea, something that hadn't occurred to him yet, _it was so simple_ he thought _how could I have not figured it out sooner?_

Marius wiped his eyes and got to his feet and made his way quickly upstairs, "_This could work_" he thought and he hoped that Cosette wasn't asleep yet as he reached the bedroom door.

* * *

Marius was glad when he entered the room and saw Cosette sitting on the bed in her nightdress; she was resting against the headboard in the same way she had been sitting in the living room, with her knees at her chest, she was slightly startled when Marius entered the room suddenly.

"Cosette, I've thought of something that might help you" he said confidently when he saw her.

He went over to the bed and sat facing her; he took one of Cosettes hands in his and stroked the back of it with his fingers, Cosette just looked at him with the same blank expression she'd had all day.

"Marius please, I told you I can't….." She said sadly

"Wait, just hear me out please". He then paused for a minute and prayed to himself that this would work.

"Cosette, would you like to talk about your father?" Marius asked

"What do you mean?" Cosette replied, a little confused by what he was saying.

"I mean why don't you tell me about him, Marius said, still holding her hand. "He was your father and you loved him and there's no reason why you shouldn't be able to talk about him".

Cosette was still looking at him blankly, but what he was saying was making sense to her.

Marius continued, "When I was a boy I was barely allowed to speak my fathers name in this house, that's the kind of environment I was raised in, and when he died I wasn't able to talk to anyone about him. It wasn't fair but those were the rules I grew up with. But this is _my_ house now Cosette, and I'm your husband and you can talk to me about anything you want to". He said, and then he kissed her hand.

Cosette smiled at Marius, he was the second man who had kissed that same hand this evening she thought to herself. She was really touched by this gesture.

"I'm not going to lose you Cosette, you mean everything to me". He said lovingly. "We can get through this if you let me help you, I know we can. I've been trying to think of some way to help you cope and it just came to me now I swear".

Marius smiled at Cosette who was now looking at him with a curious expression on her face. "I want to hear about your childhood, he continued, "I want to hear about the life you had with him, I want to know about the kind of man your father was, I think it'll help you feel better. I love you Cosette and I want to help you feel better".

He paused for a few seconds and then he added finally "So Cosette, would you like to talk about your father?"

Cosette smiled at him for a moment, and then she sat upright on the bed. "Yes Marius, I would" she said.


	4. Words

Cosette sat cross-legged on the bed with her nightdress gathered around her, Marius sat opposite her, still dressed but without his shoes, there was a fire going in the room so they were both bathed in the firelight, Marius held Cosettes hands in his as they sat together and she told him about her life with her father.

She told him about her childhood, about how she couldn't remember much about her life before her father was there, but she knew she was very unhappy and that people hurt her. She said she remembered being scared all the time, and cold, and that there was pain, and she lived in the dark.

And then her father arrived and then suddenly there was light in her life, and laughter, but most of all there was love.

She told him that after her father was with her life was better, and she was happy then. She told him all the memories she had of her time with him, like when she fell badly one time when she was out walking with him and cut her knee open and he carried her home and bandaged her up, she told him how she would sit on his knee in the evenings and he would read to her and she would fall asleep listening to his voice, she told him how when they were living in the convent she got to spend time with him every day, she would come running into his gardeners hut and he would pick her up into his strong arms and kiss her face all over, she told him how some of the other girls in the convent were jealous because they hardly ever got to see their families and they were mean to her, but it made her feel very lucky as a child that she was able to see her father every day, even for a short time.

She talked long into the night; Marius just sat with her and listened. He comforted her when she would cry and smiled with her when she smiled, he actually really enjoyed listening to these childhood memories, it had honestly never occurred to him how good a man Jean Valjean was and how good he was to Cosette and how much he loved her.

"I know he wasn't my real father, I always knew that". Cosette said confidently. "But I never cared who he was; I just know that he took care of me when I needed it most even though I wasn't his to take care of. I remember once he said to me _Don't worry Cosette, I'll keep you safe_. And he always did. I never felt safe when I was a child until he was with me".

Cosette paused for a moment and looked at her husband

"I just miss him so much Marius" she said sadly

"I know you do", said Marius wiping away another tear from her face. "You'll always miss him Cosette, but he wouldn't have wanted you to be sad all the time would he?"

"I'm trying not to be sad all the time Marius, really I am". Cosette said "But I don't know how to let go of him and I'm afraid that if I do let go of him I'll forget him, I don't know how to move on and be me again."

"It doesn't work like that Cosette", Marius told her, taking her hands in his again. "We never let go of the people we love, and we never truly forget them either. But we do have to move on otherwise we can never be happy again, and your father wanted you to be happy more than anything else, didn't he?"

Cosette nodded tearfully

"You have to find a place for him in your heart where you can keep him forever, so he'll always be part of you, do you think you can do that?" Marius said

Cosette nodded again and looked down

"I just wish I could tell him I love him again, I don't know if he knew how much I loved him" she said quietly

"Oh Cosette" Marius said, kissing her hands. "He knew, I know he did. You were the most loving daughter anyone could have asked for, he was very lucky to have you and I know he felt very loved by you".

Cosette closed her eyes for a moment and took a deep breath, when she breathed out again she felt as if a huge weight had just been taken off her.

Cosette smiled at her husband, and realised how completely blessed she was to have him at that moment.

"Thank you Marius, and thank you for listening to me tonight, I'm sorry I've been so distant this week, I really wanted to talk to you**, **but it was like I couldn't find the words inside me, every time I tried It was just too hard. I didn't mean to keep pushing you away".

"Cosette, it's alright, I understand", Marius said, "You don't have to be sorry".

"I love you so much". Cosette said

"I love you too Cosette", replied Marius, looking deep into her eyes. He took her face in his hands and leaned in to kiss her on the forehead and then she let him kiss her on the lips for the first time in days, and it was beautiful. They both felt passion inside themselves again, and passion for each other, they both could tell something had become a barrier between them in the past week but now it felt like it had been lifted, and that could only be a good thing.

When Marius pulled away Cosette looked at him with the most loving expression on her face and she suddenly felt something inside of her that hadn't been there until now.

"Marius?" Cosette asked

"What is it my love?" Marius said

"I think I'm ready." She said shyly

"Ready for wh…" Marius started to say, then he understood what she meant and he looked at her seriously for a moment

Cosette just smiled sweetly back at him

"Are you sure?" he asked, half concerned for her and half hopeful

"I've felt too much pain lately Marius, I need to feel something good in the world again" she told him. "I'm ready to be with you" She said, and she knew she meant it.


	5. Love

**I'm not really happy with the way this chapter turned out. I dunno maybe i didnt put my heart fully in it, maybe i just cant write love scenes. I thought it would turn out better than this though. If you like it please let me know, i appreciate feedback.**

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Neither of them could remember how it started, but suddenly they were both lying down and Marius was on top of Cosette, kissing her. Their tongues were connected for the first time since they'd been married and they were both loving it, neither of them had realised how badly they needed each other and they were both getting carried away with what they were doing. Marius couldn't wait to touch every part of Cosette, to taste every part of her, to completely love every part of her.

He was kissing her on the mouth, letting his tongue massage hers gently, he could hear her moan softly as he did this and that excited him, he let his mouth move down to her neck and kissed her softly there, then he moved a strap of her nightdress out of the way so he could kiss her shoulder, then he kissed her collarbone gently, he moved his hands over her breasts and heard her sigh softly as he did this, he felt her shape under the thin material of her nightdress and listened as Cosette got more excited as he did this.  
There were some buttons on the front of her nightdress so he started to undo them slowly, he looked in Cosettes eyes before he did so to make sure she was alright with this and her eyes told him she wanted him to do it.  
Cosette placed one of her hands over her head whilst Marius touched her front_, _there was something she had been meaning to ask him and she thought it was the best time to bring it up.

"Will it hurt?" she asked quietly, before she lost her nerve completely

Marius stopped what he was doing, his hands were about to slip inside her nightdress when she asked that question. He didn't know how to answer; he remembered what his friends used to tell him about being with women_, _and how when it was a womans first time it would hurt them.

He'd forgotten about that, he was getting so lost in the moment that he'd forgotten it was his beautiful Cosette he was about to be with and the last thing he wanted to do was hurt her even more than she'd been hurt, but he would have felt worse if he'd just gone ahead and hurt her without letting her know the facts.

He placed one of his hands on Cosettes shoulder, and decided to be honest with her.

"I think it does hurt the first time my love, I don't know how much though" He told her truthfully, which made Cosette look a little scared

Marius placed a hand on the side of her face and stroked her gently with the backs of his fingers, which made Cosette smile as she felt so comforted when he did this.

"Do you trust me Cosette?" He asked gently

"Of course I do" she told him confidently

"And you know I would never hurt you if I could help it don't you?" He asked her lovingly

Cosette nodded her head and smiled at him

"I love you Cosette" He said

"I love you too Marius" she replied

And then they started kissing again, passionately, lovingly, tenderly, all the different ways you could kiss a person they tried them all in those moments, and any nerves either of them had slowly started to disappear.

Marius pulled away from her and started unbuttoning his waistcoat and shirt, he was working fast but he tried to keep a hold on himself, he didn't want Cosette to think he just wanted her physically; it was just his excitement getting the better of him. He tossed his shirt to one side and sat up on his knees. Cosette looked at him, really looked at him. She couldn't help think how amazing he looked shirtless, he was so strong and handsome, even the scars he had on his shoulders from the fighting he was in last summer looked beautiful to her. She smiled coyly at him as she admired him and he smiled back as he reached out to touch her legs.

He manoeuvred himself between them and moved his hands under her nightdress which was up at her knees at the moment, he started slowly moving it further upwards, he kept his eyes on Cosettes the whole time to make sure she wasn't uncomfortable with this, but her eyes told him he was doing the right thing so he kept going. He still kept his eyes on hers as he moved it further up her body, she arched her back as he reached her waist and then he moved it over her stomach, then her breasts and then finally he pulled the dress over her head.

Marius was able to look at his wifes naked body for the first time; he had never seen anything so beautiful before. She was completely perfect, everything about her was perfect, her breasts, her stomach, her legs, _everything_. It nearly made him weep to see her like this, he felt so lucky at that moment that she was his wife, that he was the only person in the world who was allowed to see her like this made him feel like a god.

Marius reached out and touched her waist and ran his hand slowly upwards to her stomach, this made Cosette tremble.

"Are you nervous?" He asked her softly

"No" said Cosette confidently, and she really wasn't, in fact having him touch her made her feel incredibly excited and aroused.

Marius lay on top of her again and felt his chest pressed against hers, it felt so wonderful to have their skin joined together for the first time, he kissed her neck and collarbone again softly and ran his hands down to her breasts, feeling her again, this time without any clothing in the way which made it feel even more incredible. He started kissing her there as well, he ran his tongue slowly over them, tasting her; he couldn't get enough of her, it was like he wanted to devour her.

Cosette felt even more aroused by what he was doing, she couldn't believe how good it felt being touched by him, It made her feel excited knowing how hungry he was for her, she could feel herself becoming wet the more he touched her. She had no idea that this was going to feel as good as it did, Marius had touched her before obviously, he had held her hand, he had touched her face, but this was a completely new experience. Feeling him pressed against her, their skin touching, him kissing her, his hands feeling every part of her was amazing. At that very moment she wasn't thinking about anything she'd been through that week, all she was thinking about was how good Marius was making her feel right now.

Marius let his hands wander down Cosettes body as he kept his mouth on hers, he felt her breasts again, he ran his hands over her ribcage, down to her stomach, past her waist, right down to that sweet wet spot between her legs.

Cosette gasped when she felt this and trembled again, she closed her eyes for a moment which made Marius stop what he was doing, but when she opened them again her eyes once again told him that she was enjoying this experience.

Now Cosette let her hands do some wandering, she didn't know why but she really wanted to touch him between his legs now, I was like it was instinct for her, her hands went from behind his head as he kissed her, to his strong shoulders, down his back, round his waist and then she let her hand touch him _there, _and then it was his turn to tremble.

Marius felt himself become hard when she touched him, even though he still had his trousers on he was still so thrilled when she touched him there he couldn't help himself. He knew what he wanted next, and he knew what she wanted next so he pulled away from her for a moment and started to unbutton his trousers, he was working fast again and had everything off within seconds, then he came back to her so he could see her beautiful face again.

He kissed her gently for a few moments before he couldn't wait any longer, he wanted to be inside her right now, he pulled up again to look her in the eyes.

"Are you sure you're ready?" he whispered to her

"I am" she whispered back

"If it hurts too much please tell me, I don't want to hurt you Cosette" he said, stroking her face with the back of his fingers again.

"I'm ready Marius" she just whispered back sweetly.

Marius kept his eyes on Cosettes while he slowly entered her, he thought if he went slowly it wouldn't be so painful but her expression told him otherwise.

She gasped and cried out in pain, holding on to him harder as she did so, she hadn't really known what to expect, but she wasn't prepared for how much it hurt. She screwed up her eyes and turned her head to one side, breathing hard as she did so.

Marius didn't know what to do.

"Do you want me to stop?" He asked softly, whilst kissing the side of her face closest to him

"No, don't. She said quickly, turning to him again. Please don't stop, I'm alright."

Marius believed her when she said this but still moved slowly inside her, she gave pained noises and held tightly on to his shoulder at first as he moved in her, it was really quite painful for her but she didn't want him to stop, she wanted to be with him so badly she was willing to push past the pain. She was glad she did because after a while it stopped being so painful and she could let herself enjoy the moment.

Sometimes it's good to suffer pain, because it makes the more wonderful moments even better.

Marius felt concern for her but also couldn't help thinking how amazing it felt being inside of her, she was so warm and wet inside and it felt so, so good for him. This is what he had been waiting for since he had first fallen in love with her; he had wanted to be with her like this, exactly like this.

But this was more than just two people who were involved in a sexual act, this was two people who needed each other so desperately, who were taking such comfort in each other, who were so grateful in that moment that they had each other that this was the only way they could express it, this was not just a physical act, this was a total emotional and even spiritual connection they had.

It was odd for Marius knowing something that was so painful for her felt so nice for him, but she seemed to be enjoying it too now that the pain had subsided a little, she was kissing him again and breathing hard, giving out gasps of pleasure, so he allowed himself to enjoy what he was doing.

They had been going at it for a while and Cosette was definitely feeling more pleasure now, she was moving with him rather than just having him move inside her now, she had moved one hand over her head and was holding onto a pillow, her other hand was still holding onto Marius's shoulder, Marius moved one of his hands to hold the one she had on the pillow, and their fingers intertwined each other's, he placed his other hand on her face so he could feel her soft skin there. He was moving a little faster inside her now but he wasn't rough with her at all, because this was not just anyone he was with, this was Cosette, and there was no way he was ever going to hurt her. He couldn't bear to feel like he was in any way violating her, especially when she had felt so vulnerable this past week so he kept it gentle. He kissed her neck softly again and heard Cosette make more noises of pleasure; he was glad that she liked this because he found that he really enjoyed it too.

He could feel himself ready to come in her, he had never felt more alive and wonderful in his life, he pressed his forehead gently against hers so he could look in her eyes, Cosettes breathing was becoming increasingly ragged as she was about to come too.

She had no idea that this would feel so good, she had never known what to expect, she had grown up with only a father and in a convent so she had never been given any sex education other than what she had heard other girls whisper about, she didn't know what an orgasm was so she had no idea what was happening to her when she could feel herself about to climax but she knew it felt good, and she needed so desperately to feel something good again.

Cosette looked into Marius's eyes and felt so much love from him, she then felt herself coming, and she heard what must have been the same from Marius as well, they came together. They both cried out as they did, not at all quiet but not loud either, not that they cared at that moment if anyone could hear them anyway, neither of them were thinking about anything other than each other right then.

After Marius had come he buried his head between Cosettes neck and shoulder, he kissed her there and whispered breathlessly to her, "I love you Cosette, I love you so much".

"I love you Marius" Cosette whispered back to him as she kissed his hair.

Marius rested his head on her chest for a moment as he got his breath back, he hadn't pulled out of her yet because he wanted to stay connected to her for as long as he could, he would have chosen to stay like that forever if he could but he knew he would have to come out of her at some point. But he didn't just yet, so he stayed there. He felt Cosettes fingers run through his hair, neither of them needed to say anything at that moment; they were both processing what had just happened.

Eventually he went to kiss her again and whilst their tongues were connected he came out of her. Cosette moaned quietly as he did as it still hurt a little from him being inside her, but she was so incredibly happy at that moment too. They had just made love for the first time, and it had been so worth it.

Marius stayed on top of her instead of immediately moving away from her, her legs were still either side of his waist when he asked her a question.

"Are you alright?" he asked her with concern in his voice

Cosette smiled at him sweetly again, she was more than alright, she felt better than she had all week in fact.

"I am Marius, I really am" she told him truthfully, still smiling.

Marius pulled up and kissed her lovingly on the forehead, he was so glad he hadn't caused her too much pain.

Then they were both aware how late it was and how tired they both were, it had been a long and eventful night after all but now they both wanted to sleep. Neither of them realised that this was their first proper night together since that terrible night after they'd been married. It felt completely natural that they should sleep together that they didn't even realise they'd been apart for so long, they were finally together now and neither of them wanted to spend another night apart from each other ever again.

Cosette drifted off to sleep first that night, Marius was laid on his side again holding her in his arms and thinking about how much he had missed her that week. But she was his again now, he knew it, and he felt it too. He felt it when they were making love, when they were connected to each other; it felt like they were made for each other and each other alone. Most of all he knew she was his again because he had seen it in her eyes that night, that light had returned to her eyes and he knew he had helped put it there, and it was an amazing feeling.

Marius looked at his beautiful wife again before he too fell asleep; she was sleeping soundly. He touched her head gently and leaned in to kiss her on the forehead one last time that night, as if to kiss goodbye everything bad that had happened that week.


	6. Day

**I'm sorry I couldn't make this chapter work at all, I literally could not find a way to end this story so i just wrote crap I'm afraid. Also, my own father died when I was writing this chapter so I may have been too distracted to write any better.**

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Marius awoke first the next morning, the sunlight had draped through the curtains and landed on his face which annoyed him a little, but then he felt Cosettes hand on his chest and he remembered where he was and what happened the previous night and he couldn't help but feel anything but elated when he saw her sleeping next to him.

He turned to look at his wife, he noticed how peaceful and contented she looked at that moment, and so much better than she had looked all week he thought, not that she wasn't always beautiful of course but something seemed to be missing from her recently and she finally looked like herself again.

Marius touched Cosettes hair and stroked her head gently, not wanting to wake her. He just wanted to look at her for a while. He allowed himself a few moments to think about everything that had happened that week, the wedding, Valjeans death, the funeral, Cosettes grief, his feeling of utter hopelessness. It had been a terrible week but he felt that they had finally gotten through it; he thought that perhaps they might even be better for it. Marius definitely felt stronger for it that's for sure**. **He noticed how Cosette looked and he thought that she looked different somehow, throughout most of this week she had just looked like a scared little girl, but now he thought she looked like a woman.

Then Marius thought about something else,he thought about how amazing last night had felt for him. He had known that making love would feel good but he hadn't known how incredible it would be. He remembered how his friends had told him about the pleasure part of making love, but they had never told him about the deep connection you could feel for another person. He felt a little sorry for his friends at that moment, because they had never known real love; they had never known how amazing it could be when you truly love someone. But then they had never known Cosette had they? And she was really someone special after all.

Just then Cosette stirred and woke up gently, some hair had cascaded over her eyes and she moved it out of the way with her hand, then she noticed Marius lying next to her and she smiled.

"Good morning" she said sleepily, with a small smile on her face

"Good morning" Marius replied happily, and then he leaned over to kiss her gently.

"That's a nice way to wake up" Cosette said afterwards "Except you still need a shave" she added, stroking the stubble on his face with a smile.

"I'll shave today darling i promise " He said, returning her smile.

"Actually, you might look good with a beard" Cosette replied looking at his face curiously

Marius reached around to place one of his hands on Cosettes back so he could hold her whilst he lay next to her on his side.

"How are you feeling?" he asked

Cosette stretched gently and thought for a moment about her answer

"I'm a bit sore" she told him softly "Will it hurt every time?"

It took Marius a few seconds to realise what she meant by that, that wasn't exactly what he was getting at and he thought how adorable Cosette was at that moment for thinking that.

Marius just smiled at her for a moment

"I meant how are you feeling up here actually" he said, gently tapping her forehead,

"Oh" Cosette said, slightly embarrassed. Then she thought about her answer again.

"I'm alright Marius, really I am" she said "last night was wonderful, and I don't just mean um…_that_, I mean everything. I was so lost this week and you found me again, you really did. I love you".

Marius didn't say anything, he just smiled sweetly and kissed her softly on the mouth again and stroked her hair with his fingers.

"And thank you for being so patient with me" said Cosette "I shouldn't have made you wait so long before we made love, I'm sorry for that".

Marius moved slightly closer to Cosette after she had said that and put his hand on her hair again

"Cosette, it was never about patience" replied Marius, "I love you and I knew you were hurting, the only thing I was thinking about all week was how to make you feel better, nothing else. Please don't be sorry for that".

"You're a wonderful husband Marius" Cosette said, smiling as she did so.

Marius pulled Cosette closer to him again and she pressed her head into his chest whilst he kissed the top of her head, Cosette felt so completely happy in that moment, like everything that had happened that week had finally been healed. She looked forward to waking up like this every day for the rest of her life. They stayed holding each other like that for a while before Marius broke the silence.

"By the way Cosette, It doesn't hurt every time" he said quietly "Well it shouldn't anyway, as long as we're doing it right, I think we just need to practise".

Cosette looked up at him and smiled coyly, "Well we don't have to get up just yet do we?" she said "We could practise now".

And that's exactly what they did; they took comfort and pleasure in each other again. Cosette still missed her father but she never forgot that Marius was there for her, and she was grateful for that every day of her life with him.

It had been a week full of extreme happiness and extreme sadness, but they had both come through it and they were both stronger people because of it, but they never forgot the people they lost, because we never really forget the people we love, and we never really let go of them either.

**The End**


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